I don’t really know why I was so rebellious as a young boy.
Was it because I felt so distant from my family, from everyone?
I remember growing up feeling so lonely, so unsure of today, tomorrow.
Looking for answers to unspoken questions, feeling so confused and distant from everyone, wondering, foundering, looking for answers to life and myself.
I had no mentor. My father was always busy with other things than me.
Did I resent him or the things or people he spent his time with? No, not at all.
I resented being left alone to flounder, and flounder I did. Repeatedly! Never certain of where I should go or be, or how to get there.
My thoughts always took me away from my immediate environment; I wanted to leave all my uncertainty, confusion and life of darkness behind and travel to a more understanding and brighter place. Later in life, I found that place after searching for so long!
That sanctuary, the place of promise and love, certainty and fulfillment that I searched for so long, I found in myself!
I discovered, I alone could make possible the certainty of life in the answers I sought. I also discovered, inside myself are the answers to the universe, what I needed was to believe in myself and search more carefully and with certainty, the answers will come to me. I must trust in myself!
I cherish the notion that I can inquire, investigate and consciously search for an answer and, if one is not forthcoming, to sleep on it, the answer I seek will in time, be revealed to me.
Stop trying to force an answer in my conscious mind but, to give my body and mind an opportunity to collaborate and, before long, I will have my answer but, I must trust that I have the optimal answer for myself at that time and place! This practice works every time without fail.
Preparing and constructing a solid foundation is an arduous task rewarding one with the framework from which to build one’s trust.
We all have an aura about ourselves that can only be generated from within referencing the way we see ourselves and the universe that at times, may be confused with self-righteousness.
When one feels totally confident in one’s self, others notice and want to follow. The confused and self-righteous will turn away from the confident person for the lack of understanding. In time, they too will come to understand themselves and make the proper choices for themselves.
With this confidence and understanding, one may conquer the world. Everything that has a meaning, is understood. Life moves along smoothly and confidently.
One may not refrain from certainty rather, one will conquer all.